Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Snakey Snake

Bryce and I have been watching Animal Planet lately. We usually watch it hoping that “Austin Stevens, Snakemaster” will come on. Austin Stevens is a completely insane man from South Africa. His favorite pastime is finding the largest, most poisonous snake possible; at which point he teases, bothers, and pulls it around. He also calls them things like “such a pretty boy” and “what a nice little guy.” I think the snakes object to the name calling more than anything else.

We watch it with a NASCAR mentality. (Please don’t misunderstand. I do not, nor never will, condone mullets or NASCAR.) But people watch NASCAR for hours waiting for someone to crash. We watch Austin Stevens waiting for one of those snakes to get a bite, and he does get bitten sometimes! Aside from that macabre fixation the show is actually quite educational. It made me realize I don’t really know anything about how snakes work. So I read and read. It turns out snakes are intensely interesting.

Snakes are easy to hate. They have been pared down until only the traits necessary for predetation remain. They aren’t very Christian either, tempting Adam and Eve, and breaking commandments all over the place. They embody gluttony. A python will eat an entire impala whole, better yet it will eat you whole if you aren’t careful. Click on this page to be appalled by snakes:

Despite knowing about their peckish ways I cannot resist. I think this white snake is adorable and I want him to come live in my house. He is being sold on this website:

I emailed the owner but he never answered to tell me how much. No Mom, I wouldn’t really buy him. I was just curious, but if the price is right…


Sonja said...

I think that the pink snake looks like intestines.

McEwens said...

He's only pink because he just hatched, he will turn snowy white!!!