Thursday, December 10, 2009

Dove Chocolate Promises

Dear Dove,
Today I opened I delicious peanut butter candy, made by your company. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also enjoyed the wonderful message inside:
Its existentialist overtones inspired me to write my own messages, of a similar sort, which I am submitting to you for printing on future candy wrappers. Please enjoy:

1. Just give up.
2. It's ok that you are 30, unmarried, and play video games all day in your mom's basement.
3. Why plan ahead? You'll probably just get hit by a bus today.
4. We are all perched upon the precipice of death and nothingness.
5. What's one more chocolate, when you consider that we are all perched upon the precipice of death and nothingness?
6. Your arteries are clogging right now, oh well.
7. Mediocrity is easy.

Please respond quickly so that we can discuss compensation and publication rights. I look forward to your response,

Sincerely,
Rachel McEwen

3 comments:

Steffy said...

This made me chuckle a lot!

Sara said...

Heehehee! Dove should combine forces with the "unfortune" cookie company!

McRachie said...

Hey Alena, I'm glad you enjoy my blog. It's always nice to hear from people who read!