Thursday, July 28, 2011

Adorable or Horrible?

I stumbled across this excellent beanie on Etsy.In my glee I sent the link to many people, desiring to share the fantasticness with the world. Imagine my surprise when some people were very put off, even creeped out, by my discovery!

So what do you think? When I put one of these on my baby will you think it is adorable or horrible?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Sorting


Seriously. The Gryffindors are noble and brave hero folk. Syltherins are probably evil, but at least they are smart and driven. Ravenclaws are the thoughtful artsy types. Then there are Hufflepuffs who are hard-working, aka the peasants. That's where they put all the kids who are probably squibs.
Pioneer Day Cake

Yesterday was Pioneer Day in Utah (ok, Sunday was Pioneer Day, but that is the Sabbath so we celebrated on Monday instead). It is a state holiday to commemorate the original founders of the state.

If you wanted to appreciate pioneers you might get dysentery and then spend the day walking barefoot in the desert for miles and miles hauling all of your possessions in a rickety wooden wagon, then finish it up by eating a meager helping of gruel cooked over a fire of burning ox poop; but in Utah we just have a flags in our front yards, barbecues, and fireworks.

This is great, because first of all we don't have to hunt for ox-poos, and second of all it is basically a second fourth of July! I am glad about that because I stumbled across the idea for this cake on July 5th and I didn't want to wait a whole year to make it.You need two white cake mixes. Dye one of the rounds red, one blue, and leave one white (You will have an extra round, you can dye that whatever color you want, I made mine red so I could have an extra stripe.)
Slice the red and white cakes through the center with a piece of floss. This is fun, and always turns out perfectly. Stack them on each other with a thin layer of frosting in between each layer.

Next cut a circle out of the center of your blue cake. I happened to have some little Pyrex dishes that were the prefect size for this. I just punched it through the blue layer.
I set the Pyrex on top of the red layer and used a knife to cut through the first two layers (red and white). You could maybe punch it through those, but it would probably be super messy. You could also probably do this step before the red and white layers are glued to the cake.

Note, you will have a lot of cake scraps. You could make them into a trifle if you wanted to. I just ate them in scrap form though. Be careful though, it is very easy to consume an entire cake when it is in scrap form.
Place your blue ring cake on the red and white cake and frost the whole thing.

I always crumb coat my cakes when I frost them. Especially when the cake has as many crumbs as this one. A crumb coat is basically the ugliest frosting job of all time. Just wipe a thin layer of frosting all over that cake, then pop it in the fridge.
People who are professional cake makers take the time to make their crumb coat all smooth, but I am too lazy for that.

After the frosting sets in the fridge take it out and cover it with your real frosting layer. This layer is your Precious. If you see a stray crumb creeping into this frosting layer don't try to be a hero, stop everything and remove it at once. I like to put a big blob of frosting on the top and scrape it down onto the sides, rotating the cake as I go.
Ta da! When you are done no one will ever suspect the secret shame that was the crumb coat!
Also, no one will suspect how magically patriotic your cake is inside!
I am really grateful for the sacrifices of the Mormon Pioneers. Some of my ancestors made the journey across the country, enduring incredible hardship so that I would be able to have a better life with flag themed cakes.
P.s.
Note my Boggle sheet under that piece of cake. I totally won. Thank you English degree.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Good Baby

This is the door at work.
It is one of those doors with a bar that depresses when it is unlocked, and pops out when it is locked. It gets locked every day at 5:00 when everyone goes home. I always press on the door to open it, not on the bar. This isn't a problem if I leave before it is locked.

The problem is after five, when it is locked. Everyone else in the office is able to remember it is locked and leave without incident.
But not me.
Well, this was the case until I became pregnant.


Good job Baby.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

I Hate it When this Happens






P.s. This is a way worse problem when your awesome idea came to you in your sleep, because it usually looks like this:

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Dreams

Dreams are really weird. There are also a lot of "facts" about dreams, floating around on the internet, that are also really weird.

For example, "they" postulate that fetuses spend 80% of their sleeping time having dreams, and that their dreams consist mostly of sounds. Yeah right Napoleon, like anyone can even know that.

I can't blame babies for spending their time dreaming. I always imagined they were having a blast swimming in a big bubble, but they are actually kind of squished up in the dark without access to Netflix, so they probably get super bored. But how in the heck can people pretend to know what they are dreaming about?

"They" also say that you can't read in your dreams and that some people only dream in black and white.
I can read and see in color in my dreams so I am skeptical about either one of these being true.

Many people are also adamant that all the people in your dreams are real people that you have seen at some point in your past, you just don't remember them. They say that you do not create new people.
Again, how could anyone know that? If I close my eyes right now I can easily invent a completely new face that I have never seen before. Why would my brain take the time to dredge up the face of the cat-lady on the news when I can just invent a new face?

Also, oddly enough I used to mostly only dream about imaginary people. It wasn't until I met Handsome Bryce that he, and other people I know, started getting incorporated into my dreams.
According to the internet there are common dreams that bridge all cultures and socio-economic levels. They are: flying, nakedness in public, losing teeth, and unpreparedness.

I never dream about any of these things. Except one time I dreamed I went to work in my undies, and I didn't care. Otherwise, never.
There are also many people called Oneironauts who are conscious that they are dreaming and can sometimes control their dreams. I cannot do this. I always 100% believe that my dream is real, and when I realize it is not I wake up violently and suddenly.

I sometimes have dreams in German, where everyone speaks German the right way except for me. My own speaking is the only horrible German in my dreams. I think this is a rude way for my own brain to insult me.

Every once and a while Bryce and I will have the same dream. Weird.

In conclusion, dreams are super weird and I don't believe most of the things that people claim about them. Do you?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Scary

I was talking with a friend about things that freaked us out when we were little. It's pretty funny to think about how things have changed.

For example, when I was a kid I was pretty much convinced that our house had been built on top of a witch's castle. Her castle connected to our house by two portals:

Consequently, I never stood next to my bed. This required a running leap to get on the bed, and a big jump to get off of it. I also never stayed near the toilet while it was flushing, since that opened the hatch between me and the little beasts the witch kept as pets. (The witch was too big to fit through the toilet.) My mom even let me put a clove of garlic under my bed in case any vampires came to visit the witch.

Now, I am mostly afraid of the dust, crusty old socks, papers, tissues or whatever else is hoarded under my bed.
Then, I was afraid of the 32% chance that giant killer tomatoes and invisible sharks were real. If they were real I knew I was 100% doomed.

Now, I am afraid of 100% real bears, moose, and sharks and the 32% chance that any one of them will ever get close enough to me to eat me, or gore me into a bloody mass just for fun.
Then, I was deathly afraid of people wearing masks or face paint, especially people in full-body costumes.
Now, I still think that is completely freaky. Seriously, you don't know who is in there! What kind of person has a job where their identity is anonymous anyway? Probably people who don't want you to recognize them from America's Most Wanted, Axe Murderer Edition, that's who.
Bleah. Creepy. Stay away.