Wednesday, July 06, 2011

It's Mine! It's a Hundred! Shut it off!

I think most people can agree with me, that public bathrooms are a horrible necessary evil. Rooms in every building, dedicated to depositing...you know what. The problem is that it seems like most people do not agree with me about how we should act in these terrible places.
Time in the bathroom should be kept to the absolute minimum. Some people like to loiter, gaze into the mirror, redo their makeup, have a snack, or read a book. This must stop! You are in, and then you are out; but not out so fast that you neglect to wash your hands! If you skip the sink I will remember it, and be silently horrified for the rest of your life.
Also, let's not talk to each other. As far as I am concerned those tiny little stalls are gateways into alternate dimensions. As soon as the door closes you and I do not exist in the same room anymore, (except for spying on whether or not you wash your hands). No talking. Also, please keep all your sounds and smells in your own stall, thanks.
Even when we are out of the stalls, let's still not talk. We can say "Hey" but anything beyond a one word phrase is going to devolve into awkwardness quickly.
P.s.
I'm going to pay attention to whether or not you use soap, just so you know.

6 comments:

Haley! said...

Hahahhaha :) So true! Some people just don't get it!

Rain Coyote said...

I have to fully agree. Meeting people in the restroom is probably the awkwardest thing. Especially when they insist on holding a conversation.

Sonya said...

Bathrooms make me angry and pessimistic about humanity. Hey you? I just passed the stall you left and I am just suggesting that maybe aim is not your strong suit. Which, as a female, really shouldn't be such a concern, but you are very talented at not aiming. In other words, clean up your mess you filthy yucky person.

Also, women who take all their kids into a stall with them. I get that it is a safety thing, more or less, but there is not a lot of room in there... and you are peeing.

Sonya said...

What does your title mean? I do not get it. Am I missing a large chunk of something?

McRachie said...

This is what the title is referencing:

http://www.homestarrunner.com/tgs7.html

Also, let's not be too judgey about ladies who have to take all their kids into the stall with them. What else are they going to do with them? Let them run wild and/or get kidnapped?

Also so what if you are peeing? That's the same general area that those kids got squeezed out of, at one point; how modest are you after that?

mama bear said...

the worst is when they talk on their cell phones in the bathroom! ew! the person on the other end isn't deaf - they can hear the toilets flushing!!!

also, i totally take my kids in the stall with me. it's not like they wouldn't just crawl under there and join me anyway. there's no such thing as privacy when you're a mom.