Tuesday, July 19, 2011


I was talking with a friend about things that freaked us out when we were little. It's pretty funny to think about how things have changed.

For example, when I was a kid I was pretty much convinced that our house had been built on top of a witch's castle. Her castle connected to our house by two portals:

Consequently, I never stood next to my bed. This required a running leap to get on the bed, and a big jump to get off of it. I also never stayed near the toilet while it was flushing, since that opened the hatch between me and the little beasts the witch kept as pets. (The witch was too big to fit through the toilet.) My mom even let me put a clove of garlic under my bed in case any vampires came to visit the witch.

Now, I am mostly afraid of the dust, crusty old socks, papers, tissues or whatever else is hoarded under my bed.
Then, I was afraid of the 32% chance that giant killer tomatoes and invisible sharks were real. If they were real I knew I was 100% doomed.

Now, I am afraid of 100% real bears, moose, and sharks and the 32% chance that any one of them will ever get close enough to me to eat me, or gore me into a bloody mass just for fun.
Then, I was deathly afraid of people wearing masks or face paint, especially people in full-body costumes.
Now, I still think that is completely freaky. Seriously, you don't know who is in there! What kind of person has a job where their identity is anonymous anyway? Probably people who don't want you to recognize them from America's Most Wanted, Axe Murderer Edition, that's who.
Bleah. Creepy. Stay away.

1 comment:

Rain Coyote said...

I was deathly afraid of my old backyard only because that was where the Bogeyman lived. As far as I know, he still resides there, and so I had to write a novel to vanquish my fear by having my characters defeat him in said novel.