Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Try Kissing it Better










That was actually Great-Grandma.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Searching

Handsome Bryce is graduating soon, with a master's degree in Mechanical Engineering, so we are spending a lot of time looking for jobs. Unfortunately every company, (except Disney) has the most user-unfriendly job search engine possible.








So, if you see any good jobs for brilliant and handsome engineers, please copy the description by hand and mail it to me!

Monday, February 27, 2012

Happy Monday!

I'm too busy to post a comic today so here's a picture of my baby wearing a tie:

Thanks Sarah! Also happy birthday Sara! Different Sara(h)s.

Friday, February 24, 2012

How It Is

I mentioned before that people try to prepare you for kids by telling you crazy stuff. Here's my breakdown of how it has been so far:

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Betrayal

We've all been there, something horrible is on your hands. Maybe it is slimy, or drippy, or smells weird. Maybe it is all of those things. In this situation there is only one thought in every person's mind:

Ah, the fluffy soft savior of all the folks who have ever found themselves in a messy situation.


You run to the cabinet or drawer or closet where you will find solace from your mess.


And then the worst thing possible happens: You turn into a gross soulless vampire! No! Worse than that even! The only thing in the haven of towels is a microfiber towel!


It's disgusting. It clings to everything that touches it, so it is covered in hair, weird lint, and unidentifiable miscellany.



Your precious towel is not there to save you, so you prepare to leave in defeat.



But that microfiber towel calls to you. Why surrender when it's there waiting to help? You think that perhaps it can help you after all. So you give it a try:


NOOOOOOOOOOO! It doesn't absorb water! Your hands will never be clean again! Who invented these imposters???

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

McBaby is Famous

Handsome Bryce and I had a talk with McBaby. You see, he'd been loafing around our house for two months and we felt it was time he got a job. "You are incredibly adorable," we said, "but you can't expect to get by on your good looks for your whole life."

"Yes I can! I'll show you!" said McBaby, "I'll get a job as a male model!" And so he did:

You can see him at: http://www.playhut.com/ Packages with his photos on them will be in stores this fall.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Sports Headlines Are Funny if You Don't Know They are About Sports





Also kind of gruesome.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Waiting

Last month I was grocery shopping when a little old lady stopped to admire my angelic baby.
She started telling me about when she was raising children and about how worthwhile it is. I thought to myself, "How nice to have a conversation with this lady!" but then she leaned in, with her eyes all a-quiver, and said:


I have explained before, I cannot lie if someone asks me a direct question. If I try to lie it doesn't fool anyone, so I just don't bother with it. So I said:



Things really started to go south now. I was trying not to sound smug but she still seemed affronted. So she got some revenge. She was in a Jazzy, so right at stomach level, and she leaned in:


Touche old lady, touche.


But who could have expected this?


It seems like everyone wants to warn me about the horrors I am in for. I am sure it will not always be perfect, but who can complain with a face like this to cheer you up?

Too bad Katie Wetherbee wasn't there to stick up for me. I really liked this post Steffy showed me.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Idiosyncrasies

There is one area where Handsome Bryce and I are not just the same. Both Bryce and his mom have a different pause tolerance than I do. (This very good article can tell you all about pause tolerances.)

I have a very short pause tolerance, while Bryce and Mom McEwen have a longer one.







This isn't really a big deal because I recognize that their tolerance is greater than mine, which is understandable because I actually don't have any tolerance at all. Sometimes I notice it, but it doesn't bother me. It might bother other people though.


Typos, however, are a different story. Anyone who has chatted with me on the internet knows I have three extreme "typing tics." Firstly, I am a comma fiend. The more commas the merrier. I also type the words "hee hee" incessantly. (I am troubled that the person I am typing to cannot see if I am smiling or not, so I am compelled to type "hee hee" to let them know I am smiling.)

The worst, though, is fixing typos. I am a lazy typist with no tolerance for misspelled words; this is a bad combination. I once had a friend who typed, "You don't have to correct your spelling, I know what you mean."


Here's the thing, I really DO have to fix the spelling. I cannot just let it go. The misspelled words hang in front of me like unanswered questions, filling up my entire brain with their wrongness. I really have to fix them, otherwise they will just keep being wrong there, forever.

But the words are flown, they can't come back to be fixed, so I have to correct them with asterisks. *tomorrow, *whoever, *forget, *dinner, *the. It's annoying but I just can't stop.


No-corrections-needed-guy and I are no longer friends, but I don't care. I would rather have words spelled correctly than have friends. *Friends who don't respect proper spelling anyway. Hee hee.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Magical Sock Bun

Boys, this post is about styling long hair, but before you close the window in disgust consider the woman in your life. Does she take ages styling her hair, overrunning your bathroom with doodads and many kinds of hair goop? This habit probably monopolizes the bathroom. Perhaps you have even been late because of it. This could be the end of your hairy problem!

The sock bun is a bun with a sock inside of it. I used brand new never before worn socks because foot germs give me the creeps. (Don't even get me started on all the foot germs that live in carpet.) You cut the toes off the sock and then roll it into a doughnut, then you roll your hair around the doughnut. Sounds easy? Ok just watch this girl's video to see how it's done. She is a nice girl, but she talks a lot so feel free to start the video at the 2:27 mark.


You put your hair in a bun right at the top of your head. (Boys this is also a bonus because you won't have to choke on itchy hair during cuddles.)


I think the bun looks cute, like a doughnut made of hair. Which doesn't really sound cute



When you unroll the bun you have nice curls that just need a bit of hairspray to tame.


And ta da! Nice curls without the hassle of a curling iron or pesky curlers! The first time my sisters and I tried this it didn't work out that great, it takes a little bit of practice to get it just right, but once you do, it is easy and not damaging to your hair.

I used a regular women's sock. If you have short hair you might want to try a baby sock.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012